1. I think the tongue-in-cheek crowd is outsmarting me. Someone wrote to me to say that there is no such expression as “bits and tids” and I must have meant “Tidbits.” I am not sure cleverness is at work, however. When I was a teenager i ran a community center newsletter and my featured columnist, Don Kagan, had a column called Kagan’s Korner. Someone complained that we were misspelling “corner.” I know for a certainty that this person was not pulling my leg.
2. A couple of hours ago, some political genius, billed as a “CNN analyst” said on that network’s Ashley Cooper 360 that nobody in America disputes that cops should be allowed to carry guns. In that case, where do I live?
3. Paul Krugman, Robert Reich, and a few others with general paresis, but who retain a love for seeing their names in print, write articles every day for Reader Supported News. General paresis is a neurological form of insanity usually caused by syphilis. If that is not what is responsible for their headlong rush into print, I can’t imagine what it is due to.
4. Jacob Lew is on his way to being Secretary of Treasury. People who know the Dragon variation of the Sicilian Defense and know how it compares to the Giuocco Piano variation of the Ruy Lopez will know why it matters who gets the Treasury job. The rest of us are in the dark. However, this much we are certain of. However good Mr. Lew may be at this job, he is a Harvard insider who has had a lifetime switching intermediate level jobs just below where you and I can observe his work. We can be sure that fewer than 20,000 people can do the job as well or better than he can. Although, to say 20,000 can do the job as well, is like saying thousands can drink water as well as he can. In short, we don’t know what that means, even if we have a grudging inkling to suspect he really has some mysterious competence. Newspapers never give us a find-grained description of what a government official does each day when he arrives in is his office. We can say with certainty, that Lew’s abundant talents, whatever they are, did not have much to do with his appointment.
5. The irrepressible, internationally respected forensic psychiatrist, Erin Burnett, who doubles each evening when the moon is high as the sexpot who shoves her legs and slightly tousled hair as close to our face as she dares, told us last night that whatever the official word, mass murderers of the sort we have recently encountered are all indisputably suffering from severe mental problems. Depressing news, indeed, because I had been trained in a tradition in which I had been taught mental illness eliminates and/or reduces culpability. So I suppose Dr. Sexpot would like to cradle bad guys and hold their heads close to her crotch while she offers them soothing relief. I am sorry I haven’t killed 400 or so 5-year old children, myself. One per crotch go-round with luscious Erin. Erin has forgotten that when the big boys of forensics say of a criminal that he is sick, Sick, SICK and needs to be put in a prison hospital for a long time, that the rest of us cheer loudly but when this same crowd announces only 18 months later, the villain is cured, and they let him rush out into the world to kill more people, we go crazy with denunciations of psychiatry, calling the whole profession fraudulent. So what should we believe about forensic psychiatrists? Believe the worst, under the simple principle that being right beats being wrong.
6. A report in today’s newspapers says 80% of guns that bad guys buy are bought illegally from other bad guys. There are more guns out on the streets than there are people. Let us say, 320 million guns. That means 256 million guns are on the street for the purpose of shooting and robbing people, not for taking target practice at soda cans. To date, the only proposal the good guys have come up with is asking people to surrender their weapons. BE NICE is the motto. I expect this will work well, and over 25.6 million guns will be handed over to the police (who will love it). The other 90% will be used to kill or rob people. Any other bright plans out there? How about one that won’t cause bad guys to think, “Hey, we’re the only guys left with guns.”?
7. I am still waiting for Day One in the War Against Guns, when somebody who hates crime will say, “Of course, I hate hunting and we need to get blood-letting machines out of the hands of deer-head collectors who boast, “I always eat my kill.” Is there one loud-mouthed opponent of guns who has said that? Spare yourself a search. I’ve done it for you. the answer is “NO.”