Within these paragraphs there is a lot of hogwash, including the usual pseudo wisdom that people over age 90 like to present to us KIDS. But at least 40% of this strikes me as sound and half of that as very illuminating. Where have you gotten such a high percentage of solid advice before?

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Dr. Shigeaki Hinohara, Japan, turned 101 on 4th October 2012

As a 97 year old Doctor, he was interviewed, and gave his advice for a long and healthy life.

Shigeaki Hinohara is one of the world’s longest-serving physicians and educators. Hinohara’s magic touch is legendary: Since 1941 he has been healing patients at St. Luke’s International Hospital in Tokyo and teaching at St. Luke’s College of Nursing.

He has published around 15 books since his 75th birthday, including one “Living Long, Living Good” that has sold more than 1.2 million copies. As the founder of the New Elderly Movement, Hinohara encourages others to live a long and happy life, a quest in which no role model is better than the doctor himself.

Doctor Shigeaki Hinohara’s main points for a long and happy life:

* Energy comes from feeling good, not from eating well or sleeping a lot. We all remember how as children, when we were having fun, we often forgot to eat or sleep. I believe that we can keep that attitude as adults, too. It’s best not to tire the body with too many rules such as lunchtime and bedtime.

* All people who live long regardless of nationality, race or gender share one thing in common: None are overweight. For breakfast I drink coffee, a glass of milk and some orange juice with a tablespoon of olive oil in it. Olive oil is great for the arteries and keeps my skin healthy. Lunch is milk and a few cookies, or nothing when I am too busy to eat. I never get hungry because I focus on my work. Dinner is veggies, a bit of fish and rice, and, twice a week, 100 grams of lean meat.

* Always plan ahead. My schedule book is already full until 2014, with lectures and my usual hospital work. In 2016 I’ll have some fun, though: I plan to attend the Tokyo Olympics!

* There is no need to ever retire, but if one must, it should be a lot later than 65. The current retirement age was set at 65 half a century ago, when the average life-expectancy in Japan was 68 years and only 125 Japanese were over 100 years old. Today, Japanese women live to be around 86 and men 80, and we have 36,000 centenarians in our country. In 20 years we will have about 50,000 people over the age of 100…

* Share what you know. I give 150 lectures a year, some for 100 elementary-school children, others for 4,500 business people. I usually speak for 60 to 90 minutes, standing, to stay strong.

* When a doctor recommends you take a test or have some surgery, ask whether the doctor would suggest that his or her spouse or children go through such a procedure. Contrary to popular belief, doctors can’t cure everyone. So why cause unnecessary pain with surgery I think music and animal therapy can help more than most doctors imagine.

* To stay healthy, always take the stairs and carry your own stuff. I take two stairs at a time, to get my muscles moving.

* My inspiration is Robert Browning’s poem “Abt Vogler.” My father used to read it to me. It encourages us to make big art, not small scribbles. It says to try to draw a circle so huge that there is no way we can finish it while we are alive. All we see is an arch; the rest is beyond our vision but it is there in the distance.

* Pain is mysterious, and having fun is the best way to forget it. If a child has a toothache, and you start playing a game together, he or she immediately forgets the pain. Hospitals must cater to the basic need of patients: We all want to have fun. At St. Luke’s we have music and animal therapies, and art classes.

* Don’t be crazy about amassing material things. Remember: You don’t know when your number is up, and you can’t take it with you to the next place.

* Hospitals must be designed and prepared for major disasters, and they must accept every patient who appears at their doors. We designed St. Luke’s so we can operate anywhere: in the basement, in the corridors, in the chapel. Most people thought I was crazy to prepare for a catastrophe, but on March 20, 1995, I was unfortunately proven right when members of the Aum Shinrikyu religious cult launched a terrorist attack in the Tokyo subway. We accepted 740 victims and in two hours figured out that it was sarin gas that had hit them. Sadly we lost one person, but we saved 739 lives.

* Science alone can’t cure or help people. Science lumps us all together, but illness is individual. Each person is unique, and diseases are connected to their hearts. To know the illness and help people, we need liberal and visual arts, not just medical ones.

* Life is filled with incidents. On March 31, 1970, when I was 59 years old, I boarded the Yodogo, a flight from Tokyo to Fukuoka. It was a beautiful sunny morning, and as Mount Fuji came into sight, the plane was hijacked by the Japanese Communist League-Red Army Faction. I spent the next four days handcuffed to my seat in 40-degree heat. As a doctor, I looked at it all as an experiment and was amazed at how the body slowed down in a crisis.

* Find a role model and aim to achieve even more than they could ever do. My father went to the United States in 1900 to study at Duke University in North Carolina. He was a pioneer and one of my heroes. Later I found a few more life guides, and when I am stuck, I ask myself how they would deal with the problem.

* It’s wonderful to live long. Until one is 60 years old, it is easy to work for one’s family and to achieve one’s goals. But in our later years, we should strive to contribute to society. Since the age of 65, I have worked as a volunteer. I still put in 18 hours seven days a week and love every minute of it.

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Contributed to this journal by Leonard Carrier.

Some people like to say “I gave at the office” or “I made my annual donation two months ago.” All this is good but leaves you far short of what you opught to be doing. The likelihood that you can’t help more than you are doing is slim to none. Just skip two meals per month in your favorite fancy restaurant and send the saved money to some place where it will be appreciated much more than your local restauranteur. Consider what just happened in South Sudan.

BRUSSELS/NEW YORK, May 16, 2013—The international medical humanitarian organization Doctors Without Borders/Médecins Sans Frontières (MSF) today strongly condemned the deliberate damage and looting of its hospital in Pibor town, in South Sudan’s Jonglei State, which has left tens of thousands of people without access to essential medical care.

The hospital’s infrastructure was systematically damaged May 11–12 in order to render it unusable without major repairs. Therapeutic medical food and hospital beds were looted. The MSF structure is the only hospital facility for Pibor County, with the nearest alternative more than 90 miles away. The hospital’s closure leaves roughly 100,000 people cut off from health care. Many of them have fled to the bush amid conflict between the South Sudan Army (SPLA) and the David YauYau armed militia group.

“A special effort was made to destroy drug supplies by strewing them on the ground, to cut and slash the warehouse tents, to ransack the hospital wards, and even to cut electricity cables and rip them from the walls,” said Richard Veerman, MSF operations coordinator for South Sudan.

From January to March, the Pibor hospital treated 3,000 people and provided surgical care to more than 100 people suffering war-related injuries, including SPLA soldiers. Prior to the attack, MSF was forced to suspend activities in Pibor on April 19 because of threats and intimidation of staff and patients.

“The rainy season has just started and we know from previous years that malaria and respiratory diseases such as pneumonia will start to claim lives if there is no health care available,” Veerman said. In a report issued in November last year, South Sudan’s Hidden Crisis, MSF documented the devastating health consequences when people are forced to flee to the bush.

An MSF team was preparing to return and restart medical activities when the looting and destruction took place. It was the sixth time an MSF medical facility has been looted or damaged in Jonglei State in the past two years.

“It is unthinkable that there will be no health care whatsoever for the next six months for some 100,000 frightened and vulnerable people hiding in the swamps,” Veerman said. “Unless we can return to resume medical activities and have the freedom to move to wherever people need assistance, this unthinkable scenario may become the horrific reality.”

MSF urges the Government of South Sudan to meet its responsibilities to ensure full respect of medical humanitarian facilities and activities. MSF also calls urgently for assurances from all parties in the Jonglei State conflict that its medical teams have unhindered freedom to return to Pibor and the ability to reach out impartially to people in need of medical assistance, on either side of the conflict. Humanitarian and medical assistance is urgently needed in Pibor County and must be resumed in the coming days or weeks.

MSF works in Akobo, Nyirol, Pibor, and Uror counties in Jonglei State. The activities in all locations, including Gumuruk Clinic in Pibor County, continue to function, with the exception of the hospital in Pibor town and the MSF clinic in the village of Lekwongole in Pibor County, which was targeted and damaged in August 2012 and where insecurity and fighting have made access impossible for MSF.

Twenty bucks to help in this crisis would be very sweet. [And maybe again in two months]

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpBvKgL8Obo
www.samaritanspurse.org

and, of course, Doctors Without Borders/Médecins Sans Frontières (MSF)

Reprinted from Epoch Times

An Australian restaurant is offering a $120 sandwich with bacon and eggs for this week, according to reports. The Sydney restaurant, 4Fourteen, is offering the breakfast roll as part of Bacon Week, reported The Telegraph in Australia. The sandwich includes duck egg, smoked gourmet truss tomatoes, duck foie grass caviar, creme fraiche, shaved truffles, and cheddar.

“It’s not something I ever thought I’d be doing but it will be interesting to see how many we’ll sell,” 4Fourteen head chef Carla Jones told the paper. “I reckon some people will buy it just to see what it’s like. I’m not sure I’d eat it–I’m not that into truffles and stuff like that.”

Bacon Week is run by Australian Pork to promote local meat processors, according to the Australian Broadcasting Corporation.

And you still want proof that there is no God?

All by itself, independent of how it comes about, exquisite taste is neither good nor bad. In my opinion, some things are worthy of cultivation and some seem like a foolish joke. Some exquisite taste just happens without cultivation and it is hard to condemn it, however trite it may be.

Young French children drink wine as American children drink milk. I doubt that American children can develop a preference for one brand of milk over another but I suppose French children can readily tell the difference among Bordeaux and Chardonnays, and perhaps they are encouraged to do so. So be it; and not much more can be said about that, however worthy or unworthy wine flavors may be.

As it happens, my father, being in the food business, brought home sturgeon, nova scotia lox and swiss cheese every Saturday. Before I was four years old, I could appreciate many differences. I could tell (if my memory is right, but I don’t guarantee it) whether cheese was aged six months or not at all. I think I can still tell differences. I regard this ability of mine as frivolous and wouldn’t mind at all if it evaporated suddenly.

I am dismayed when I think how many thousands of people take classes in wine tasting. It may be, for all I know, possible to make very discriminating distinctions between types of wine and, within types, brands. Even the ability to recognize the number of years a wine sits in an aging cask may be possible. My feeling, not shared by many, I suppose, is that this ability is DISGUSTING, mainly because it has to be worked at and it concerns a matter not worthy of anybody’s time and efforts and too often it is cultivated for despicable reasons, and you can guess what those are.

I don’t feel this way about music. It is a fact that some people with a natural passion for what I will haughtily call “great music” proceed to work hard at developing an exquisite taste for distinctions. Let them. I don’t think it is praiseworthy but neither is it cheap and vulgar. It does seem to me to be self-defeating. I have heard live performances of great music that for some of my companions misses the mark. Only a small percentage of concert goers can tell a fine performance by a great conductor from a somewhat lackadaisical performance by a somewhat less than great conductor. It strikes me that people with this exquisite ability are losing out if they cannot appreciate anything but the very best. For many years I used to listen to Sviatoslav Richter’s best performances of Beethoven’s Appassionata Piano Sonata, insanely bent on developing expertise in Richter’s style. Today, I wonder why. I will give you links to Richter and to one other professional performer and one amateur, and you can judge for yourself whether knowing the differences are worth a damn.

So my advice is this: Enjoy your cheese and don’t check the label to see how long it has been aged, enjoy your $10 wine and don’t make a move to the $20 variety. Go listen to music and don’t criticize if you can help avoiding that.

Life is short; eat cookies.

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Richter – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZ2J1eFM-Rs

Claudio Arrau - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tdg-DT8rTUQ

Amateur performance – 1st movement only. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2edfqJnb8w

Atkins, South Beach, and all the others, it is time to move to the sidelines. There is a new kid on the block getting all the attention.

New England Journal of Medicine, 04/08/2013 Continuing Medical Education
Estruch R. et al.– Observational cohort studies and a secondary prevention trial have shown an inverse association between adherence to THE MEDITERRANEAN DIET. and cardiovascular risk. The study is a randomized trial of this diet pattern for the primary prevention of cardiovascular events. It was concluded that among persons at high cardiovascular risk, a Mediterranean diet supplemented with extra–virgin olive oil or nuts reduced the incidence of major cardiovascular events.

Methods

In a multicenter trial in Spain, the authors randomly assigned participants who were at high cardiovascular risk, but with no cardiovascular disease at enrollment, to one of three diets: a Mediterranean diet supplemented with extra–virgin olive oil, a Mediterranean diet supplemented with mixed nuts, or a control diet (advice to reduce dietary fat). Participants received quarterly individual and group educational sessions and, depending on group assignment, free provision of extra–virgin olive oil, mixed nuts, or small nonfood gifts. The primary end point was the rate of major cardiovascular events (myocardial infarction, stroke, or death from cardiovascular causes). On the basis of the results of an interim analysis, the trial was stopped after a median follow–up of 4.8 years

Results

A total of 7447 persons were enrolled (age range, 55 to 80 years); 57% were women. The two Mediterranean–diet groups had good adherence to the intervention, according to self–reported intake and biomarker analyses. A primary end–point event occurred in 288 participants.

No diet–related adverse effects were reported.

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Do it the right way – THE JEWISH WAY. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nqydycykiE

…And Thou Beside Me Sitting In the Wilderness- O Wilderness Were Paradise Enow!

There is no gainsaying the greatness of that immortal line, possibly the most celebrated poetic line in history. Omar Khayyam would not even be a footnote to history had he written: A bottle of Cel-Ray Soda, A Loaf Of Bread…” No, wine it is, wine it must be. Who does not delight in a great wine, one costing at least $500 per bottle? The hoi polloi make do with wine that sells for 80 bucks per bottle. That gives them bragging rights when their guests arrive.

But the enduring, perhaps eternal, question remains: Why not a bottle of Cel-Ray soda or Hoffman Root Beer or Pepsi Cola ["twice as much for a nickel,too, Pepsi Cola is the drink for you" - Pepsi's aggressive response via a jingle to the 7 cents per bottle boast of its rival Coca Cola.]

Children in France enjoy wine from an early age – it is quite natural – but American children don’t like wine. They have to be taught or, rather, indoctrinated into its pleasures. Perhaps there is nothing wrong with that. Perhaps once they learn the delights of wine there is no going back to Dr. Brown’s Cel-Ray. However, I am a natural-born skeptic and don’t have to be indoctrinated into being that way. I was, once upon a time, indoctrinated into Jeremy Bentham’s point of view, to wit, “quantum of pleasure being equal, push-pin is as good as poetry.” I need lots of convincing that a thirst-quenching glass of Cel-Ray is not as pleasurable as the finest wine in the world and, penny-for-penny, will not give you much greater value.

This is Pesach season (“Passover” to the goys, the Christians, the Christ lovers, the defilers of The Temple, the exilers, or whoever and however you like to think of them). It is the time of year when Jews of all stripes, be they fanatically orthodox or despicable humanistic atheists – enjoy settling down to a good glass of extra-heavy malaga wine, sugared to the maximum and probably manufactured by Manischewitz. It is the brew that inspired Walter Matthau to feel justified in wanting to kill Elaine May in Elaine’s brilliant satirical movie, A NEW LEAF.

There is little or no point in my trying to persuade anyone who has not the luck to be Jewish that this wine surpasses 1992 Screaming Eagle Cabernet Sauvignon, priced at $500,000 per bottle, in every imaginable way. The name of that cabernet is proof enough how gauche it is. [There is no typographical error in that price line.] But disputes about this are best conducted in foreign languages: “de gustibus non est disputandum,” “une affaire de gout,” and even the Czechs have a phrase for it: proti gustu žádný dišputát cs.

Still, when the dust finally settles on that ancient cabernet (and it will settle on it within ten years down in your ridiculous wine cellar) you can unscrew a bottle of Manischewitz, which sensibly come without a cork, and call out to all your friends, “trinken,mayn fraynd, in gut gezunt!”

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-Nu9bh4g4U

The famous hilarious James Thurber carton in New Yorker magazine: A host is talking to his guests at table: “It’s a naive domestic Burgundy, without any breeding, but I think you’ll be amused by its presumption.”

AERATION: The art of allowing a wine to breathe. Mainly with red wines, it allows the wine to “open” and the true flavor to emerge.

AGGRESSIVE: An unpleasant wine that tends to be highly acidic and heavily tannic. Often a wine before its time.

Austere : A wine that is dominated by harsh acidity or tannin and is lacking the fruit needed to balance those components.

BACKBONE: A well balanced, full-bodied wine.

BALANCED, a wine in which all dimensions – acidity, sweetness, tannins, alcohol – make a harmonious whole (although tasters are indulgent about high tannin levels in young red wines).

“Best red wines for summer.” “Best white wines for summer.” Ditto other seasons. Best for fish meals, best for meat, best for drinking while sitting on a toilet seat. Ad nauseum.

BODY: The structure and complexity of the wine on the palette.

BOUQUET: The aroma of the wine, which develops with age.

Classic : A wine of exceptional quality that displays the typicity of its varietals, displays layers of complexity, and is very well balanced.

Connected : A sense of the wine’s ability to relay its place of origin.

DELICATE: A lighter bodied wine that is soft on the palette yet, delightful.

DEPTH: Describes the array of flavors, fullness and body of the wine. More commonly referred to as the complexity of the wine.

Easy : A wine that is simple and straightforward without much complexity

ELEGANT: A spectacular, well balanced wine.

FINISH: The completion and lingering flavor left on your palette. The longer the finish the more sophisticated the wine.

FLABBY: too low in acid.

FLORAL: More commonly characteristic of Whites, a flavor and aroma reminiscent of flowers.

FRESH: A bold, crisp, fruity wine found in most younger wines.

FULL-BODIED: wine with considerable body.

GRAPEY: A simpler, less complex flavor.

GRASSY: A grassy earth tone found in some Whites that enriches the wine when delicately balanced.

HEARTY: A robust red wine full of flavor.

HERBACIOIS: An herbal quality of both taste and smell. More often found in Whites where it is most desirable.

HOLLOW: lacking fruit.

LATE HARVEST: Grapes that are left to ripen on the vine harvested later than the regular crop to produce a sweeter style wine such as dessert wines.

LEAN: A wine lacking flavor and depth.

Mature : A wine that has aged to its peak point of quality.

Midpalate : The feel and taste of a wine when held in the mouth.

OAKY: There are a variety of “oaky” flavors derived from the aging process of the wine in wood casks. The oak flavor can overpower a good wine or it can provide a more subtle, elegant flavor.

Opulent : A rich tasting wine with a pleasing texture mouthfeel that is well balanced.

PERFUMED: Characteristic of floral, aromatic white wines.

Polished : A wine that is very smooth to drink, with no roughness in texture and mouthfeel. It is also well balanced.

Reticent : A wine that is not exhibiting much aroma or bouquet characteristics perhaps due to its youth. It can be described as the sense that a wine is “holding back”.

ROUND: A smooth more balanced wine that has the feeling of rolling on your tongue.

Structure : The solid components of a wine-acidity, sugar, density of fruit flavors and phenolic compounds such as tannins in relation to the overall balance and body of the wine.

TANNIN: Tannin is a mineral found in the skin of the grape or derived from wood casks during aging. Tannins are usually found in the finish of the wine and evens the flavor. Tannins also help to mature the wine.

Tannic : A wine with aggressive tannins.

Texture : The mouthfeel of wine on the palate.

Undertone : The more subtle nuances, aromas and flavors of wine.

Upfront : A wine with very perceivable characteristics and quality that do not require much thought or effort to discover.

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Once upon a time there was Boone’s Farm wine for a buck. Was it red or white? Who knows? You kept it in your brown bag so cops wouldn’t arrest you, and pulled it out now and then for a swig. Ah, the good, old days.

For the vulgar and disgusting among you there is beer.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqTzceppgj4&list=AL94UKMTqg-9AlEVLq0PbZfGE2mIQ7qvCU

Diet gurus keep changing their minds. Right now, on top of the leader board, is the much publicized Mediterranean Diet. I believe we should not jump to conclusions. The next 200 years will tell the tale.

Here is the scorecards for the two favorites – The Med diet and the Low Fat diet:

Med Diet……………………………….Low Fat Diet

Recommended

Olive oil 4 tablespoons/day……….discouraged by low fat enthusiasts
Tree nuts & peanuts 3 servings/week..discouraged by LF enthusiasts
Fresh fruits 3 servings/day……….LF: 2 servings/day
Vegetables 2 servings/day…………LF: 2 servings/day
Fatty fish 3/ servings/week………discouraged / LF people like lean fish
Legumes 3 servings/week. Mystery items. Maybe beans, peas… LF enthusiasts: don’t know
Bread and whole grain cereals……..LF enthusiasts – choose wisely.
Wine w/meals 7 glasses/week…….. LF enthusiasts ??? No report card – no guts, no glory, no fun.

Discouraged

Bakery sweets and pastries discouraged by both diets. This proves beyond any doubt these diets are worthless.
Dairy is discouraged by both diets: eggs, cheeses, milk, ICE CREAM! More proof of how ridiculous these diets are.
Red and processed meats discouraged by both diets. [What the hell is red meat? Is that in contrast to green, blue and white meat?]

It is alleged by members of Mediterranean Diet Fan Club that the Diet will allow you to get off your statin and high blood pressure medications and cause you to live longer! [SG: I have one question about this - IS THIS A BOAST OR CONFESSION?]
P.S. The researchers [sic] said the olive oil must be extra virgin! I suspect they were sex maniacs.

At the end of the five year study of 7,447 people, 3.8% of the Med folks had suffered a heart attack, stroke or death. 4.4% of the low fat “control group” had suffered from the same set of adverse events. In other words, assuming I can still do arithmetic, 283 people in the Med Diet ritual were miserable or dead. 328 of the low fat gang were the victims of their diet. Together that totals 611. What happened to the remaining 6836 folks? Here’s what happened to them: They were still eating their ice cream and chocolate candy on the sly, laughing all the way to the grocery store.

The National Institutes of Health is making progress in phasing out government-funded chimpanzee experiments and retiring most federally owned chimpanzees to sanctuaries. But the agency shouldn’t hold 50 chimpanzees for future research.

“The Institute of Medicine made it clear that chimpanzees are neither necessary nor useful research subjects. While they suffer needlessly in laboratories, millions of taxpayer dollars are wasted on inappropriate housing and unproductive research,” says Elizabeth Kucinich, PCRM’s director of government affairs. “While we are happy with the progress this report suggests, we advise that chimpanzee experiments be phased out completely.”

The report from the Council of Councils Working Group on the Use of Chimpanzees in NIH-Supported Research states that the NIH should permanently retire all but 50 of the 360 government-owned chimpanzees to a federal sanctuary program. The Working Group’s report recommends that NIH should not revitalize breeding of chimpanzees for any research, including new, emerging, or re-emerging disease research.

If the NIH accepts the recommendations of this report, the approximately 170 chimpanzees at the Alamogordo Primate Facility (APF) in New Mexico should be sent to sanctuaries. This includes Ken and the 23 chimpanzees, previously housed at APF, who are in poor health facing laboratory procedures at Texas Biomed in San Antonio. Ken, for example, is at risk of sudden cardiac death according to medical records obtained by PCRM through the Freedom of Information Act. Ken and the others should now be removed from the laboratory and reunited with the other Alamogordo chimpanzees in permanent retirement.

To learn more about ending chimpanzee experiments, visit PCRM.org/GAPCSA. That’s the Physicians Committee For Responsible Medicine.
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McDonald’s, Chicken-Fried Steak Served in Top U.S. Children’s Hospitals:

1.Shands Hospital in Florida is a top children’s hospital for heart surgery. But it has at least five fast-food outlets, and the patient menu includes artery-clogging meatloaf with gravy, according to PCRM’s new report on children’s hospitals that serve the most unhealthful foods.

The four other children’s hospitals named in PCRM’s report also host fast-food restaurants and serve young patients foods loaded with cholesterol and fat:

The Five Worst Children’s Hospital Food Environments

1. Shands Hospital for Children at University of Florida Gainesville, Fla. At least 5 fast-food outlets, including Wendy’s; patient menu includes a ham-and-cheese croissant, barbecue chicken, and meatloaf with beef gravy
2. Monroe Carell Jr. Children’s Hospital at Vanderbilt Nashville, Tenn. 4 fast-food outlets, including Taco Bell/Pizza Hut Express; cafeteria features barbecue chicken, cheesesteak wrap, and chicken-fried steak with cream gravy
3. St. Louis Children’s Hospital-Washington University St. Louis, Mo. 2 fast-food outlets, including Pizza Hut; patient menu includes sausage, bacon, ham, grilled chicken, and roast beef with gravy
4. Children’s Hospital Los Angeles Los Angeles, Calif. McDonald’s on first floor of hospital; patient menu features pizza and hot dogs
5. Riley Hospital for Children-Indiana University Health Indianapolis, Ind. McDonald’s in hospital next to cafeteria; patient menu features sausage, bacon, and corn dogs

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YpBPavEDQCk

Hymie Schlomowitz speaks:
“Gendin, I want to be happy.”
SG: “I’ve no objection.”
Hymie: “No, you don’t get it. ALL I want is to be happy.”
SG: “I know that’s false. I saw you eating a chunk of fudge cake.”
Hymie: “So?”
SG: “I think you wanted that fudge cake.”
Hymie: “My God, you have a trivial mind.”
SG: “Huh?”………………..Hymie: “Don’t you see? I wanted that cake because I knew it would give me pleasure.”
SG: “So?”………………..Hymie: “Getting pleasure makes me happy.”
SG: “Where you going with this?” Hymie: “Where’s to go?”
SG: “You tell me”………….Hymie: “You, me, everybody. All of us want only one thing – to be happy.”
SG: “What about the chocolate cake?”
Hymie: “I’ll try one last time. Chocolate cake is only a means to an end. Eating chocolate cake gives me pleasure. Having pleasure makes me happy.”
SG: “Wow! You sure had me fooled. I honestly thought you just liked chocolate cake.”…………Hymie: “But I do. Only it is not an end in itself.”
SG: “Ah, hah! Not a ding-an-sich?………….Hymie: “Don’t get vulgar.”
SG: “You bring out the worst in me…………Hymie: “We’re all the same.”
SG: “So why are you sitting there instead of inside my body? Can A and B be the same, if A is one place and B another?”
Hymie: “Deep philosophy is not your cup of tea.”
SG: “How about trivial philosophy? Beggars can’t be choosy.”

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Make Judy happy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2U-rBZREQMw

Empress I meets Empress II – if this won’t make you give up chocolate cake, I don’t know what will.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hf53oFb4IKA&feature=fvwp&NR=1