More stupid objections have been made to playing the lottery than than there have been compliments deserved or undeserved of Einstein’s genius, tears flowing over Whitney Houston, debates over the comparative prowess of Kobe Bryant and Lebron James and insults rightly hurled at Rick Santorum. I mean even when you add all these together.
The fact is that almost nothing ever dreamed up matches the pleasure provided by lotteries. The most disgusting criticism of lotteries comes from the dull witted and pseudo-liberal community. These champions of decency like to bombard us with the utterly trite point that those who play the lottery are the very poor who can’t afford it. They tack on inane and trite truths: a person is 176 times more likely to be struck by lightning in his lifetime; he is 9 times more likely to die from a TV falling on his head in the course of any year. The parade of moronic statistics rolls on.
These liberals never tire of telling each other that the poor have better ways to spend their hard-earned dollars. This, of course, is absolutely false. They sit at their favorite restaurants and throw away 60 to 100 bucks on an unappetizing meal accompanied by vile wine, when they could have bought lottery tickets instead. They want the poor to toss away their money on things that they, the liberals, like but that the poor don’t. How’s that for liberality? They think they are better at mathematics than poor people, utterly ignoring the fact that the average liberal is arithmetically challenged, did none of the calculations himself, and studied the humanities in college, studiously avoiding all courses beyond the required analytic geometry.
The liberal who lives in a hardcore Republican state is too dumb to know his voting for a Democratic nominee for President is far less likely to have an influence on the outcome than a poor man has a chance of winning the lottery. The big difference is this: the liberal is miserable when his man loses and the man who purchases the lottery ticket is a winner no matter what the winning combination is. This is because the purchase of a ticket is only an enjoyable game that does not fool the ticket purchaser. The ticket entitles him to participate in a fantasy that he can nurture for hours or days. If he is an habitué to the game, lottery play is a source of lifetime pleasure. Of course, he prefers buying ten tickets per week to spending 60 bucks on an unpalatable meal in an ostentatious restaurant that boasts of its vulgar ambience. Of course the money is not wasted on the tickets as it would be if, like the middle class liberal, he could afford to take an ugly wife and even uglier children to a movie theater and squander $60 on admission, candy and popcorn. The middle class jerk gets a fat zero of pleasure from his avoidance of lottery tickets. In any case, his main pleasure in life is criticizing poor people for “wasting” their money on lottery tickets. I would like to say he is welcome to his pleasure but he is not. I would like to say he is entitled to his stupid opinion about the lottery but he is not.
Viva the lottery and, before we rush out to follow the advice of Billy Shakespeare, who had one of the characters in Henry VI say, “First thing we do is kill all the lawyers,” let us kill all those who object to lotteries.