I’m Coming After You, Angelo

“Defecation” originates in late Middle English (in the sense [clear of dregs, purify] ): from Latin defaecat- ‘cleared of dregs,’ from the verb defaecare, from de- (expressing removal) + faex, faec- ‘dregs.’ The current sense dates from the mid 19th cent.

I have done little in the last 24 hours but to get ready for Angelo Siciliano. I’m going to beat him to a pulp, but in a fair fight. In language that even Descartes would understand, “I defecate, therefore I vanish.” I am down to 98 pounds and am getting ready to kick sand in Angelo’s face. He can lick all the 3 cents stamps in the world that he wants, I’m gonna murder him. I feel it in my bones and in my rectal ampulla. I’m coming after you, Angelo! My peristalsis maneuvers tell me tell me Im ready to close down your valsalva maneuvers. I’ll make you sorry you’re a toilet seat man and not a squatter.

I have never been more charged up (or charged down, whichever is more appropriate) and I have already invested $1 million in a plush new toilet paper that you, Angelo, will be scrubbing in your face. Oh, boy, oh, boy! Am I ever ready.

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1 Comment

  1. Angelo better watch out. You’ve got St. Thomas of Aquina on your side. You might remember that he proved that those beautiful angels don’t eat; for if they did they would grow enormously fat, for it’s unseemly for Angels to defecate.

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